Summer is waning and gardens are continuing to offer a cornucopia of flavorful vegetables! So, what does this have to do with coaching?

A lot! Some of the most delicious fare has a short and simple list of ingredients which are packed full of flavor. For instance, let’s take bruschetta. There are so few ingredients that each one is the star of the show in their own right. There is nowhere to hide if the basil or tomato are having an off flavor day. When there are so few ingredients every one of them must be at peak performance.

Coaching is much the same in that there are a few simple ingredients that work together to create an impactful moment. If any are having an off moment the situation is affected. Let’s break down the recipe of essential ingredients…

• Inner Awareness
• Listening
• Spot-on Questions

Inner Awareness –

First, who’s talking? I’m defining who as in my inner dialogue. What is my level of inner awareness being brought to the conversation? Am I having a great day and feeling on top of the world? Or maybe just the opposite and the day (week, month, or year) has run roughshod over me. Any of these inner states, and everything in between, comes along with us to our conversations. We bring all of us, all of the time, to every experience- period. It is an illusion that we get to check any aspect of ourselves at the door only to pick it back up at another time. Taking the time to unpack our inner landscape on a regular basis is essential to effective coaching. Otherwise, how will we know when our own rotten tomatoes and past peak basil are showing up in the conversation?

Listening –

Second, great listening happens in layers and through observation. From the coach’s point-of-view, the layers of listening are:

• Internal Listening – this is when it’s all about ME and the awareness is on us personally. It’s from the perspective of my emotions, judgments, thoughts, experiences, and responses. What the other is saying is listened to through the filter of ‘how does this translate to my experience and my reality’.
• Focused Listening – this level of listening is distinctly about the other person and total focus is on them. This is where our judgements, voices in our head, and predetermined responses are suspended. Also noticed are the emotions, body language, word choice and inflection, and what’s being said and not said. This is the place of listening with empathy and the other being fully heard.
• Global Listening – this is the space of taking in the entire environment and how it's impacting the conversation. It’s using all of our senses to listen and observe what can be seen and unseen. I like to call this space of listening ‘the third’ as something new is being created and intuited in this place of co-creation. 

This brings us to the last ingredient...

Spot-on questions -

A perfect question is prescriptive and meticulously tailored to the client and the moment. In the poem Sometimes, poet David Whyte writes “questions that can make or unmake a life ... questions that have no right to go away.” This verse sits at the seat of a great question’s composition. Questions that draw us inward have the power to transform, stimulate critical thinking, challenge our assumptions, and ask us if we’re living a congruent life. Answers are easy to come by but a well-articulated question draws us closer to personal accountability and forward momentum.

Back to the garden…

These three simple ingredients meld together to create an intentional coaching space for prescriptive growth and awareness. Through me, the coach, any of these aspects having an off day will impact the coaching space, my level of discernment, listening, and ultimately asking tailor made questions.

If there is one ingredient that is foundationally essential to coaching, it is the level of awareness being brought to the coaching conversation. Taking the time to identify and unearth my own triggers will greatly serve any exchange, dialogue, discussion, and meeting. Why? Because I am the common denominator in my conversations and I bring all of me, every time, to everything.